Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Frey Up That Memoir

So James Frey maybe fibbed some on his absolutely real, gritty as all get-out, Oprah endorsed memoir. Oprah is quiet. Oprah is probably pissed (first Franzien, now Frey! F them all!) And so did a lot of other folks, and it got me thinking: what areas can I embellish when it comes time to deliver my own memoir someday?

1. I saw Jesus at the age of four and briefly pursued a life in the priesthood, until I was pursued right out of it.

2. I saw the original 'Star Wars' on opening day in 1977. Knew it from the start, yo.

3. In Ireland, U2 was recording their album "All That You Can't Leave Behind" TWO FUCKING BLOCKS from our dorm at Trinity. One night, I went to Mahaffey's and there was the Edge, in for a pint. He was down in the mouth, and after some chat he took me back to the Windmill Lane where I listened to the rough tracks. I set him straight about some things, and thus saved U2 and rock n' roll in the process.

4. My formative sexual experience was with an older woman, a lesbian, which more than likely accounts for why they show up so much in my writing.

5. Sugu and I not only broke OUT of the Kodak Theater the week before the Oscars, the night before the Iraq war when there were National Guard in the street, but we actually broke back IN to get back to his car.

Actually, some of these are true. Mostly. Prove it. I dare you.

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