Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The Bus Stops Here

If for some reason you haven't heard by now, the Bus, Cowher, Big Ben, and what is probably the classiest set of guys in pro sports won the big one on Sunday. You could not have written a better ending for Bettis' career, or a better start to Roethlisberger's.

Another classy person I know, Mandy, writes about the lulling safety of Iowa. A lot of what she says is right on. The good thing about Iowa: insulation. The bad thing: insularity. I go back and forth with myself every single day, and have for years now, about whether to stay or not. There's always a reason to, and the problem is, there will always be. At least now the current reason is a good one. If I left now, I feel like I'd be turning my back on my city, right when it woke up, and right when it needs people like me the most. If Waterloo has a future, if Iowa does, it's in people my age, my brother's, all the people I've met downtown that see something better and are poised to do something about it. I don't like it here. I'm not happy here. I haven't been, ever, and I doubt I ever would be. A lot of it has to do with my family, and not so much Iowa, but I want to go to grad school, get my MFA like Mandy does. I want to reclaim the courage and confidence college gave me to take chances, like going to Ireland for a summer. I felt like I could have done anything in the world back then, and now I feel like I'm out of the Army, out of prison back in 'civilian life', and nothing makes sense.

But this is where I am. I feel very torn. I don't owe Waterloo any thing. It's taken more out of me than I could ever give back. I feel like I have to give back, though, something, whatever it may be; what can I do? How can I contribute? I don't know.

1 comment:

mandy said...

Waterloo doesn't owe you anything. you don't owe anything to waterloo. sure, it is up and coming now. i understand your desires to stay and make it a better place, any place is better with you in it. however, i think it is more important to be happy. get out and there and check out some other places. if you don't like it, well waterloo will always be there. it will always need to be made better. i don't thik you will ever truly be satisfied with what comes out of waterloo without first experiencing the ways some other cities do things.