In the movie version, Ben's talk with God happens in an all-night dinner just before the last call refugees show up to soak up their drunk with pancakes and eggs.
In the movie version, I have where I'm supposed to be and who I am figured out before the age of 32. 30, even. 30 would be cool.
In the movie version, what I write sounds like it does in my head.
In the movie version, Michael Keaton plays me. Apparently.
In the movie version, I do not sit at my computer and think of clever blog posts to expedite the awareness of my malaise. I do not watch Scrubs as if it is going out of style when I get off work because I'm too tired to work on my book which is like having an overgrown child that won't leave the house.
In the movie version, I do not get up and check my email first thing in the morning to see if the agent or the publisher has written back to tell me they like my book and would like to publish it very much.
In the movie version, I'm dating a much younger woman. It has to be a somewhat faithful adaptation, I mean, c'mon.